The word for today is mentor. I have had many coaches during my stay in corporate America. People older, wiser and much more experienced have blessed me with wisdom nuggets. Some wisdom was solicited, some not so much. I have been fortunate to serve as an executive coach for some pretty talented and successful people. Often the designation of mentor or coach is misinterpreted as some Yoda type character dispensing all knowledge and wisdom to poor little neophytes with whom they have been unceremoniously matched. In reality a good mentor is simply a person who has been over the ‘road’ you are about to travel. As Zig Ziglar once said “wisdom comes from experience…most of it bad!” To use the travel metaphor, let’s say that you are taking a cross country trip and you would like to know places to visit as well as places to avoid. You have a discussion with a person who has taken multiple cross country trips. Is it conceivable that they have seen some places you might enjoy seeing? Is it remotely possible that because they have taken ten or twelve cross country trips, they might know a few places to avoid?
A mentoring discussion is basically a discussion with a more experienced ‘traveler.’ You want information on what they have seen and experienced because it can help you make better informed decisions about your personal ‘trip’ through the world of work.
They story is told of three young boys, Bobby 8, Jake 9 and Sam 10, who went to play in the state park located across the country road from their homes. Bobby the youngest said to Jake and Sam “let’s play Jedi knight down by the creek in the park.” Jake said “ok let’s go.” Sam the oldest and the biggest of the boys was new to the area but thought to himself “whatever they can do I can do better because I am older and stronger.” His response was also “let’s go!” So off they went. After about a ten-minute hike into the woods the creek lay before them. Bobby and Sam sat down next to a nearby tree while Jake took out his pocket knife and began to write his initials into the bark of another larger tree. They sat and listened to the pleasant sound of flowing water as it moved briskly past them along the fifteen-foot-wide creek. After a few minutes Bobby perked up and said “hey guys, it’s time to play Jedi knight. So he stood up grabbed a long, skinny stick that was laying nearby and began waving it around and making simulated Jedi light saber sounds “zzzchhh, zzzchhh”. As he raised his ‘lightsaber’ skyward he said in his best Darth Vader voice “the force is strong with this one.” Then he went to the edge of the creek and despite the rushing water, slowly walked across the creek. In no time at all he was jumping up and down on the other side laughing at Jake and Sam. Now Sam new to the area had never been this far into the woods nor had he ever witnessed a true Jedi at work. He was stunned speechless. Not wanting to let on that he was impressed, he reacted nonchalantly with a chuckle all the while amazed that this kid might really have Jedi powers. Then Jake stood and walked to the edge of the creek. He stopped momentarily, looked across at the younger Bobby and said in his best Yoda impression “There is no try, only do.” Then he too slowly walked on the water to the other side. By this time Sam could no longer hide his awe for the talents of his two friends. He yelled over to them “how did you guys do that?” Bobby and Jake were hopping around and having an imaginary lightsaber fight and laughing. They yelled back. “Use the force!” Sam knew without a doubt that he had no experience with the ‘force’ but he couldn’t be a ‘scaredy cat’ in front of his friends. So while trying to hide his gut wrenching fear he slowly got up and inched toward the edge of the creek. When he got to the edge of the creek bank all he could see and hear was the moving water and the laughter of his buddies as they continued their ‘swordfight’. Bravely he looked up and said “may the force be with me!” He took a slow step onto the water all the while hoping for some power of the ‘force’ to show up. Immediately he sank straight down and sputtering thrashed his way back to the bank a few inches away. As he pulled himself out of the surprisingly cold water. He could hear his friends rolling on the ground convulsing with uncontrollable laughter. He sat there shivering for a moment feeling anger slowly rising from the pit of his stomach. He was angry because he didn’t know the secret of the force even though he was older. He was angry that he was soaking wet through and through. He was also angry because he hated the fact that he was the object of his younger friends’ derisive laughter. Finally, Bobby looked at Jake and said “maybe we should tell him.” Jake nodded sheepishly in agreement. “Hey Sam” he said. “Come back to the edge and we’ll show you where the rocks are!”
Do you know where all the rocks are on your journey across the creek named career? Do you know the potential pitfalls that can derail and even end your career? Are you counting on being bigger, more educated, smarter and stronger than the people around you? If you think you will be the smartest person in every room you enter, when I count to three and snap my fingers you will be awakened and emerge from your delusional state.
Get a mentor! In fact, get two or three mentors. Find people that have done what you want to do. Ask them what to look out for then sit down and LISTEN! If you don’t your peers will be laughing as you will often thrash your way backward while they move forward. If you do establish meaningful mentoring relationships, your trip to the other side of your career will be a profitable and MUCH easier one.
Eric Kelly is a professional executive career and lifestyle coach with over 30 years’ experience in corporate America. He has established management development systems in the US, Europe, Middle East, South America and Africa. As an author and speaker he shares the unwritten rules of career success with audiences worldwide.